Lazy Compilation Special

Well crumbs and titties, it turns out that Team Features couldn't get together to record a podcast this week, and now, without our combined energies to stabilise it, the power crystal at the heart of our fortress shines wanly. It's wan as balls and no mistake. To appease the podcast spirits and rejuvenate our withered life force we've instead put together a very spesh compilation episode made up of features from the past. That's right, when we repeat features and contravene the founding rules of our own podcast, we really go for it.

Script

STEVE
Hello, and welcome to episode one hundred and seven of Regular Features. My name is Steve Hogarty, and this week I'm not joined by anybody because everybody is off on incredibly important business. Gav is in Spain. Log is healing a dog's broken leg, and Matt is diverting the course of an asteroid that, err, is headed towards the Earth as we speak. So, we couldn't get together to a do a podcast this week, instead we've put together this… a compilation episode, a very special episode of Regular Features just for you in which we've taken some of our favourite features from the past and packaged them up, err, in a single episode. So, enjoy! Hopefully it's… hopefully it's not shit.
• JINGLE •
"Next"
STEVE
Err… And that's the end of the Regular Features compilation episode. Hopefully that was good? Hopefully that was, err, demonstrative… demonstrative of our finest features yet. Err, I've got two things to tell you, that's why I've come back at the end of the podcast. The first thing is that we've got a live show coming up in Nottingham on the first of November, taking place at The King Billy. Errm, if you go to eventbrite.co.uk/regularfeatures you should be able to find tickets there. If not, go to… this is the second thing I have to tell you, go to patreon.com/regularfeatures where you can not only support the podcast you can also find details of our upcoming live show. Singular - not going to start talking like we have a series, like we're going on tour, because we're not. We just have one show and I would like you to come to it. Errm, we'll be back next week with a proper, full podcast. I had to swallow there because my mouth was filling up with saliva. I should have waited until the end of the recording but I went for it. You heard me swallowing probably an ounce… at least an ounce of saliva. This is all original content so don't complain that we've just patched together a bunch of old shit and put it out as something new, 'cos literally everything I say is fresh… fresh entertainment for you. So, it… err, goodbye.
CLOSING CREDITS ROLL