Election Rulebreaking for Ladies

11: Election Rulebreaking for Ladies by Regular Features

Episode Call Sheet

Cast Member Feature Being Performed
Steve Hogarty "That's What She Said!"
Matt Lees "Politits"
Gav Murphy "Doctor Who By Someone Who’s Never Seen Doctor Who"

Script

• JINGLE •
"Instrumental - Synthesizer 1"
MATT
Hello and welcome to Regular Features, the show that's exactly the same every week. I'm joined tonight by Stephen Hogarty and Gavin Murphy. My name is Matt Lees, and what have you been up to this week Steve?
STEVE
I ordered a jacket from Hong Kong on eBay, err, it's going to take thirty-one days to show up. In the meantime, I've seen everyone else wearing it.
GAV
Awww.
MATT
Awww. I hate it when that happens.
GAV
That is horrible. That is horrendous.
MATT
What about you Gav?
GAV
Err, I made some pasta last night then lied to my girlfriend about making it, so when she got home, she's like "Have… have you got any food? Have you made food?" And I said… I said "No!" Then she was like "You should have made me food!" and she was properly pissed off. Then she went to the kitchen, found I'd made food!
MATT
Ah!
GAV
It was the night… I'd never seen her laugh so much in my life which is weird.
STEVE
Is it like one of those Facebook stories where she runs into the street, err, crying, gets hit by a car, and then you run over and said "There was pasta in the kitchen!"
GAV
It was prawn pasta in the kitchen!
• JINGLE •
"Instrumental - Voice, Version 1"
• FEATURE •
"That's What She Said!"
Written and Performed by
Steve Hogarty
★ Rate This Feature ★
STEVE
Now it's time for my Regular Feature, "That's What She Said!"
MATT
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oooh!
GAV
Oooh!
STEVE
Now, women often say things, I've noticed, errm, so I decided to look at some famous women, namely the two most famous women in the world, Oprah Winfrey and Jennifer Aniston.
GAV
Yeah.
MATT
Right.
STEVE
I've taken a selection of things that they've said.
MATT
Two of the sexiest women alive as well.
STEVE
I would…
MATT
Aye?
STEVE
I wouldn't argue with you.
GAV
Things they've said to you?
• JINGLE •
"Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, Regular Features"
• FEATURE •
"Politits"
Written and Performed by
Matt Lees
★ Rate This Feature ★
MATT
So, my feature this week, errm, is about politics, and actually, I've written on top of my piece of paper, Politits, 'cos, errm, it made me laugh. But, basically, I've been watching a TV show…
STEVE
That's Latin for "many tits".
MATT
Yes. Is it?
• JINGLE •
"Instrumental - Voice, Version 2"
• FEATURE •
"Doctor Who By Someone Who’s Never Seen Doctor Who"
Written and Performed by
Gav Murphy
★ Rate This Feature ★
GAV
My feature, errm, because I've never really been into Doctor Who, errm, and I worked in a shop for a while, and my boss was really into Doctor Who and…
MATT
Right.
GAV
…we sold a lot of Doctor Who merchandise.
CLOSING CREDITS ROLL